


The Future is Forever, so Smile

by Sqigglemonkey



Series: Betting on Tomorrow [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, M/M, Soulmate Names, i really hope i've done it justice bc honestly it's so beautiful, idk what ep it is, like 48/49?, mainly widofjord, mentions of zuala, prompt, spoilers for Caleb's name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 05:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sqigglemonkey/pseuds/Sqigglemonkey
Summary: Widofjord soulmate AU where Fjord discovers Caleb is his soulmate





	The Future is Forever, so Smile

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt thread: https://twitter.com/smoreyellow/status/1090480687314956288?s=09  
> thank you for letting me write this!

        Fjord rubbed his wrist, the spot under his shirt where the name of his soulmate had resided since his birth, a nervous tick that often showed itself, especially when he was worried about his friends, and watched as Beau rested her hand on an almost hyperventilating Caleb's shoulder. The contact seemed to help him, and he began to speak, his eyes locked on Nott.

 

    "Your name was Veth?"

 

    "It was."

 

    "My name," Caleb breathed, and continued, almost pushing the words out, "was Bren. Aldric. Ermundrud."

 

    Fjord's lungs ceased to work for a moment, as the information filtered through his ears and into his brain. Bren. The name on his wrist. His soulmate. Bren was Caleb. He forced himself to carry on listening, his thoughts running through his head a mile a minute. 'Was', he heard Caleb continue, through the fuzz of white noise in his mind, and begin to tell them his story, the things he had been through. Caleb was his, was Fjords, soulmate, and he had been through so much.

 

\----

 

    The majority of the Nein usually had their wrists covered, depending on the day and what clothes they wore: Beau's wraps would cover theirs the majority of the time, but when they weren't, the name 'Jester' was clearly visible; Jester's were never really covered by gloves or shirt sleeves and so from the get-go 'Beau' had flashed across her skin, visible. No one, least of all them, were sure if they were meant to be romantically involved or not, but they were soulmates, and after the months of travelling they had grown closer.

   Molly had always said that he didn't need a name on his wrist to know who his soulmate was, claiming clearly that it was Yasha, and the space where it was meant to be was covered in scars, so many that if there had been a name it was so impossible to read that there wasn't much point in reading it. He claimed that it hadn't been him who carved into the skin to get rid of it, but he had tattooed 'Yasha' on his other wrist. She, in turn, had 'Molly' on her 'wrong' wrist, clearly visible, unlike the other which was always covered by a glove, but Caduceus and Jester both knew that 'Zuala' was the name written there.

    Nott, Caleb and Fjord seemed to always keep their wrists covered, the names there hidden for whatever reason. It was, in theory, a good idea for an adventuring party, in case an enemy caught sight of the name and tried to use it against them. It meant that, from time to time, they were teased by Jester, constant questions of who their soulmate was, until either Beau or Nott managed to distract her enough with something else.

    Caduceus did not keep his hidden, but it was written in a language, none but him spoke, and he would deflect every question about it, leading many of them to come to the conclusion that either it was a difficult topic, or, possibly, the name of his home.

\----

    Nott exposed her wrist when she was telling the group of Yeza, his name slightly distorted by scars of claw marks. She covered it up as fast as possible, the pain of possibly loosing her husband again written on her face.

    Caleb dreaded the idea of showing the rest of them his arms. Dreaded telling them his story, but moments later it became inevitable. He had to. Had to let them know how bad Trent was. What he could do. As he spoke he unravelled the bandages on his arm, exposing the faded scars, but paused at his wrist, before slowly taking them off completely. Where the name of his soulmate should be was a large burn scar, his flesh pulled taut and twisted.

    Jester gasped, and took his hand as he revealed his wrist. "Caleb, you don't have a name." Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. "We will find you someone. You are so lovable, you deserve someone." He had to stop himself shaking his head. He didn't. Especially not something like this. Not a love like this. He could never deserve something that good, and pure, and perfect.

    "He said the Empire was all we needed," Caleb explained. "He made me memorise it anyway, and then he took it away." He cast his eyes downwards, shaking his head. "Now is not about me, however. We must find Yeza, ja?" There was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the group and they settled into planning. 

    Fjord was the exception, he noticed, a mixed look of horror, joy and clarity across his face, despite him clearly trying to hide it. Caleb knew what name was on his wrist. Had known it from the moment he exchanged armour for gloves, sliding his hand across Fjord's wrist. Had felt 'Bren' there. From that moment the desire to help Fjord in any way, hoping that he would never find out Caleb's real name, his past. Had hoped that he would never find out what a monster he was. It hurt, seeing Fjord every day, his feelings for the half-orc growing, but unable to do anything about it. He told himself it was for the best. That Fjord didn't need someone like him, that he would find another, someone else to love and be loved by unconditionally. It was for the best. It hurt. Caleb was in love with Fjord, but that did not matter.

    He had been trying to help him, in any way he could, a subtle attempt to be closer. The blood pact had been the culmination of that, an agreement. Caleb couldn't let Fjord know that whenever he looked at his wrist he could still see his name in perfect lettering. How it hurt every time he saw it. It was for the best.

\----

 

    Fjord tried his hardest not to mention it, he really did. But what was he to do? He saw his soulmate every day, standing so beautifully in front of him, the sun catching his hair and making his blue eyes glow like the ocean. It had been a few weeks since Caleb had exposed his wrist for them. But now, seeing him sitting next to the fire in the middle of the night, trying to keep watch but distracted by his book. The firelight brightening his hair in red and orange. He was perfect in Fjord's eyes.

    "Hi," Fjord began as he sat next to him. "I was hoping to be able to talk to you about," he coughed. "Y'know." He pulled his sleeve up, exposing the name. Caleb's eyes darted to his wrist, his face, and then back to his book.

    "There is nothing to talk about." He took a deep breath in. "Bren could be anyone. Not necessarily me."

    Fjord pulled his sleeve back down. "Do you, uh, still remember the name?" Caleb nodded. "Tell me?" He paused. "Please."

    "Fjord."

    "Is that the name? Or were you going to say something else?"

    "The name."

    Fjord smiled, reaching across and guiding Caleb's face to look at him. "I knew it was you."

    "So did I." Caleb pulled his head away, sighing. "I want it. Want you. But," he paused, eyes catching onto the fire. "I am a monster. You deserve someone good."

    "Just because you did bad things doesn't make you a bad person," Fjord moved to kneel in front of him. "I want you too. Please. We don't know how long we have left. I won't push you, but I'm here, I'm waiting. Whenever you're ready." He smiled gently, tapping Caleb's knee, standing and returning to his tent.

    Maybe, just maybe, he could have one good thing. Just this. Just Fjord.


End file.
